Turning 40 today...

Wow, it's so strange to be 40 now. I've had so much anxiety about it in the past few years and now it's finally here. I'm kinda glad, in a way, to just get it over with. I'm also glad I freaked out a little bit in the past few years because it forced me to look at my life accomplishments, where my life is going and what I want to change. So, I've learned that I need to be more proactive on making dreams come true rather than just waiting for something to happen or wait for someone else to make it happen. I think I was relying on Nick to come up with all these grand plans, but it's really ME that's the dreamer!

This next decade I'd like to be proactive about planning and taking the trips I've been dreaming of. I want to continue to take on physical challenges, like half marathons, hiking trips, and my latest discovery: triathlons! AND, I also want to make a change in my living situation. We live in a tiny townhouse in Aptos and I feel displaced from my family and Nick's family who are in Boulder Creek, Felton and Scotts Valley. I want to have more regular connections with family members and build those relationships. I want to have a place that Nick and I can grow roots and share it with the people in our lives. I have always been uncomfortable having people over at my house because it's not situated right and I feel so cramped in here - especially with neighbors so dang close! It's not very private here, especially if you are outside on the patio it can feel very awkward. Unfortunately, I tend to be super sensitive to my environment. Perhaps that is due to my growing up in the woods in Boulder Creek where there weren't any neighbors and it was so peaceful...

Anyways, from this day forward I plan to make my life more enjoyable. To be more proactive and to practice gratitude more often. I have so many blessings in my life, but I often tend to have a negative attitude. I recently realized about myself that I have "high expectations"! I need to be (and want to be) more resilient when things aren't going as I imagined they would and to use a different perspective when that happens.

Here's to the next decade!